Unrequited
by Sehanine
Summary: Peter only ever wanted someone to care for him the way Lily did for Severus.


AN: Written for round 10 of the QLFC.

Team: Pride of Portree

Position: Keeper

Prompt: A dark character/light character relationship.

* * *

It had all started at the beginning of sixth year. Snape had been walking through the hall minding his own business, and James had hexed him. It had not been anything out of the ordinary, really, until Lily had slapped James square across the face. Peter had been on his way to Charms class (which James and Sirius were constantly skipping) when he saw the spectacle himself. No one had seen him. No one ever did.

Peter felt a strange swooping sensation in his belly as he watched the fury shining on her face, her fist frozen in mid-air. Admittedly, Lily had always stuck up for Snape, whether he was in the right or not, but this time was different. She'd never resorted to physical violence before, usually preferring to use words over fists. Secondly, no one had expected her to continue to support Snape after that day the previous year when he had called her 'Mudblood'.

It was true that Peter was jealous of James' and Sirius' good looks and talent. He was also jealous of Remus' intelligence and kind personality, which seemed to win him friends without any real effort on his part. However, he never thought he'd be jealous of Snivellus.

'It must be nice to have someone who stands up against bullies, no matter what,' Peter thought to himself as he watched James attempt to ask Lily out for possibly the thousandth time, despite the fact that his eye was already swollen shut and going a nasty purple color.

"Not even if you were the last boy on Earth, Potter," Lily replied, her face still slightly red with anger.

Peter did not feel sorry for James. Instead, he felt strangely glad that Lily had turned him down again.

Two weeks later, Peter asked Lily to tutor him in Transfiguration. He told her it was because James and Sirius always tried to trick him into doing things slightly wrong, often with disastrous consequences, though it wasn't quite true. He told his friends it was because he thought he could help James out by dropping complimentary anecdotes into conversation with her, though that wasn't quite true either. Peter told himself it was nothing more than a genuine desire to pass transfiguration and not get castrated by McGonagall in the process. This was a complete lie, but he told it to himself anyway, trying not to blush every time her arm brushed against his when she turned the page on his textbook.

The tutoring sessions he shared with Lily were the best times of Peter's sixth year. His friends had also recently discovered the more physical benefits of women and spent many nights conspicuously absent from the Gryffindor boy's dormitory. Even disgustingly noble and honourable Remus had spent the odd night out, returning the next morning with a sheepish grin as Sirius barraged him with wolf whistles. Peter laughed and joked about it with his friends, though he couldn't understand it himself. There was only one girl that had captured his attention.

It only served to increase his disgust towards James Potter. He found James' duplicitous flirtations rather contradictory to his professions of devotion to all that was Lily.

Peter made certain to "accidentally" drop James' nighttime habits into a conversation with his beautiful tutor, concealing a smug smile when she said she couldn't care less what Potter did as long as it wasn't with her. He knew that Lily truly deserved better than James. She deserved someone willing to devote himself to her entirely.

Someone, perhaps, very much like himself.

A few weeks before Christmas, Peter ditched his friends in Hogsmeade. Wandering around the shops alone was much safer, considering who he was shopping for. When he finally found the perfect present, he could not stop smiling, even after he had rejoined his friends. He claimed to have gotten lost in the crowds, making sure to play up his best clueless expression. His so-called "friends" simply accepted this explanation with mean-spirited laughs and a couple jokes about Peter being slower than the slowest mountain troll. Not once in six years had they considered that Peter was more intelligent than they gave him credit for.

Peter tracked Lily down using the Marauder's Map the day before they left for the holidays to give her the package he'd wrapped especially for her. When she opened it, her eyes lit up and she was rendered speechless. Peter couldn't have been happier than he was with Lily looking at him like that it was the best Christmas present she could have received.

The tutoring sessions continued until just before the exams, which Peter felt confident about for the first time in his school career. It was all thanks to Lily. Peter was very grateful and made sure to tell her so. She smiled and hugged him, saying she was very glad to have helped.

Peter was ecstatic. Surely girls didn't just hug blokes for the fun of it! Girls hugged Sirius and James all the time and it was always because they fancied the two popular boys. Therefore, he came to the only possible conclusion. Lily must fancy him!

Peter resolved to consider things over the summer before making his next move, but already he knew what his decision would be once she agreed to be his girlfriend. He knew he'd have to choose between James and Lily, since James would clearly hate him for dating the love of James' life, but it would be worth it. And there were plenty of pretty girls waiting in the wings to soothe James Potter's massive ego.

By the beginning of seventh year, Peter was still stuck in a place of indecision. He spent the last two weeks of the holiday at James' house and even though he'd mostly tagged along and been the butt of all of their jokes, it had reminded him of the camaraderie he would be giving up for Lily. Even though he knew he would never truly be a real member of the Marauders, he was still used to being their fourth member.

Finally, Peter decided to ask Lily to continue his tutoring sessions, so he'd have some more time to decide. Naturally, Lily was happy to continue. She was rather adamant about telling Peter that he made a wonderful study partner.

"Even though you do have some questionable friends." she said, winking at him over her book.

On Halloween, Lily wore a rather revealing outfit to their study session, effectively removing all knowledge of transfiguration from Peter's brain. It had to mean something...it just HAD to!

"What's up?" Lily asked, noticing Peter's distraction.

"I… I… um," Peter attempted to reply but couldn't quite manage to string two words together. Instead, he gathered all his courage and quickly leaned forward to place his lips upon hers.

Moments later, Lily's small yet strong hands pressed against his chest, pushing him away. He stumbled back, confused.

"Oh Peter!" Lily said. "I'm so sorry! I just… can't!" She fled from the room, leaving him alone and feeling more rejected than he ever had been before.

By the next day, Lily and James were officially an item. Peter didn't know how, but he swore that day that he would have his revenge on them both, even if it killed him.


End file.
